"At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer."
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."
"Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work."
"To err is human, but to really screw up you need a computer."
"The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway."
"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."
"Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9 am it's because they were up all night."
"Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk ?"
"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."
"If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...?"
"Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window."
"WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue."
"Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though."
"Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)"
"Smash forehead on keyboard to continue."